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Category Archives: Life’s a beatch

The BBC Comedy of the Week podcast is not only hilarious, but also really informative.

The BBC Comedy of the Week podcast is not only hilarious, but also really informative.

 

I’m not into news. They’re too depressing. And now they turn out to be fake.

Instead, because I used to be interested in global affairs, I listen to topical comedy podcasts from the BBC.

They have a new feature that allows to download their podcasts at low kbps, so the download goes quick.

Some time ago I decided to rather laugh than cry at the craziness of nowadays times. This podcast helps. 🙂

 

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When I open up Facebook I have gazillions of notifications, and it’s pretty clear that these are in Facebook’s – and not in my – interest:

 

Facebook tells me my friends are interested in going to events. While this information comes to no surprise, it's the fact that I get alerted about it, which turns this into a FOMO trigger.

Facebook tells me my friends are interested in going to events.
While this information comes to no surprise, it’s the fact that I get alerted about it, which turns this into a FOMO trigger.

 

Today I was informed that a couple of my contacts “are interested in going to an event in Cape Town tomorrow”. What a surprise.

Clicking on this ‘notification’ I land on the events page of a club night. Really not something I’m interested in.

Facebook will regard my click as a success, whereas I find this incredibly annoying. Facebook is not my AI diary. In fact, it offers me such predictable content – like the update to being married leads to ads about babies – that I’m simply frustrated.

 

But now I’m not just bombarded with consumerism, I’m also pressured to be hip and cool and constantly know what everyone else is doing and on top of it best participate in it.

Facebook fuels FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).

Just another reason to switch off and appreciate JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out)!

 

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What’s going on next door?

I think they’re having a braai.

Yes, I saw, but what’s the commotion?

I don’t know?

It sounds more like an argument.

Shall we have a look?

Yes, that’s like, they’re shouting.

But wait.

What?

It has stopped.

Gosh, that silence is more worrying than the shouting. Please take a look.

Okay.

What is it?

No way. It looks like…

What?

I think they’re busy taking a selfie.

 

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When you encounter an exhibitionist: Don’t let his problem become yours.

In case you encounter an exhibitionist:
Don’t let his problem become yours.

 

I was only a teenager when someone decided to expose himself to my friend and I.

 

He asked for the way, one of the many tricks how they get close to you.

 

While we were distracted about how he could best get there, he was already presenting himself to us.

 

What’s so mean about it is that you can’t help it but look, so even if involuntarily, you give him what he wants.

 

Not so in our case however:

 

My friend, only one year older than me, had the wits to point at it, laugh out loud and shout: “That small thing? Really not worth showing!” With that she linked arms with me and we walked off.

 

The mere satisfaction that we did not react liked stunned deer, but like empowered women, who embrace the situation they’re thrown into and have something witty to say about it, shrugging it off like the dirt these scumbags are, and not taking any of it!

 

Knowing that this person did not get out of it what had motivated him in the first place: Shocking someone who’d otherwise never even notice him, and having that moment of power.

 

Don’t give him the reaction of a victim.

 

Instead, prepare to have a good laugh at it!

 

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Good morning M’am, please sign the register.

 

Of course.

 

‘Ranzani’? Are you Venda?

 

Sorry? A vendor?

 

No, I mean Venda.

 

Sorry, I’m not selling anything.

 

No, I mean ‘Ranzani’, is that Venda?

 

Well yes, you could say so, my husband runs Ranzani Design, a product design and manufacturing company.

 

So, is your husband Venda?

 

Ja well, he sells his products.

 

No, no. You know, ‘Ranzani’ means something like ‘Loving’ in Venda.

 

Ah! … Oh! … Wow!

 

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#LocalisationFail: When the Translation Add-on needs to be translated...

#LocalisationFail: When the Translation Add-on needs to be translated…

 

I’d like my mom to read my blog, so I’m researching Translation Add-ons for Firefox.

Unlike Chrome, Firefox doesn’t automatically detect and translate languages. An Add-on is required. This alone makes things highly complicated for my mom, who is technophobic.

To make matters worse, most resources for Firefox are in English, even the ‘About’ section (= ‘Über dieses Add-on’) of this translation tool!

While this Add-on has a good rating, it is completely useless for non-English speakers if the instructions are not provided in their language.

So ideally my mom would have this Add-on installed in order to read how to install this Add-on…

#LocalisationFail

 

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I don’t understand: Why even mention the person’s skin colour? It is not needed for the context of the story?

 

You wouldn’t know, you’re not from here, you’re an alien.

 

Well, I’m still from the same planet!

 

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