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Monthly Archives: July 2005

One day Londoners are celebrating in the streets for winning the Olympic bid, the next day we become target of a terrorist attack and nobody dares going out into the streets anymore…

One day we cry from happiness, the next tears of shock and empathy for the victims fill our eyes…

One day we think London is the greatest capital of the world, the next we realise what consequences and responsibilities this brings with it…

A very surreal experience, really. It cannot be said that no Londoner was affected. This was an attack on all Londoners, all over London.

The tube was down, busses were suspended. Total Chaos throughout the city. Mobile phones didn’t work, landlines were overloaded. Everybody was busy trying to get hold of the people they know. Crazy stories about suicide bombers being shot by the police made their way around Canary Wharf. Helicopters and sirens everywhere.

We all knew this would happen. The question was just when. Often when I was on the tube and it would suddenly stop without any apparent reason, there was this slight panic in the faces of people. Before 9/11, it was just ‘Damn tube’. After 9/11 there was always this thought ‘Is this it? Have we been hit?’. And a sigh of relieve went through the carriage when the tube continued its journey.

Thinking what impact this attack could have had, the death rate is relatively low. They could have used chemical bombs or a fire could have broken out. That is why many people think, this was just a warning and it is not over yet. So the angst continues.

Now a general ‘It could have been us’ and out of that ‘Life is so precious – do we really live?’ atmosphere hangs over London.

London is one of the culturally most diverse cities. Everybody, no matter what language or religion or from which part of the world, is welcomed here. Every faith has the freedom to be practiced here. Traditions are celebrated here. Cultures merge through art, music, dance, foods, festivals.

How will it go on now? Will the London community be disrupted by suspicion and distrust? Will every strange package cause a security alert?

Will life just go on? When the tube runs normal again, will we just go down there like we always did? Once the mourning for the victims is over, will we just catch up on the Olympic bid celebrations?

How will it be.



I can’t believe we did it! 

It’s particularly nice for me, as I just bought the house I’m living in here in the East End. Well, I guess I won’t have to worry about the value of this place going up! 😀 

She died.
It’s over now, Kruemmel died.
I’m actually relieved. She was so in pain, I considered euthanising her. I mean, you can’t call it a life if every breath you take means effort, your rips heaving under each heavy gasp, your mouth dropped open to take in as much air as possible.
I think looking after a pet means taking responsibility for her life as well as her death. When the time comes that life becomes unbearable, then a painless death should be granted.
But then, despite her body being like a sheath that was supposed to give her strength and stability, but was now falling apart around her, she had just such a good spirit. With her pretty face, she always looked like smiling. How can you make the decision to put that to an end?
But on the day she died it was different. I cuddled with her in the morning, but she was restless. It was as if she was tired, but didn’t want to fall asleep there in my hands, so every time she would relax, she pulled herself out of it and got up aimlessly.
Finally when I let her go and she went back into the cage, she found her peace…
Strange how animals know when their time is coming. And they seem to prefer to be alone. They always wait until you leave them to it and then walk away from everybody to be all by themselves.
I always picture myself being old and grey in a bed, buried under a thick duvet, having my family around and telling them my last dramatic words. Like in a movie. Well, maybe I don’t have to say anything, but I guess it would be nice to have somebody there. But then, maybe it would be better to be alone, after all it’s a journey that we all have to face entirely by ourselves anyway.
But hey, I didn’t even live half of how long is still to come. Even if I picture I live as long as I have lived so far, it is still not as long as I can live. So much time to live! A lifetime to live.

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