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Category Archives: Flash Fiction

 

Hi, how are you? Wow, you’ve grown since your mural got painted on our wall! Like a little gentleman.

 

Are these all your dogs?

 

Yes.

 

All four of them?

 

Yes.

 

Where you’re taking them?

 

For a run on the mountain.

 

All four go into the car?

 

Yes, in the boot.
If they stayed there!
Look, our puppy Lola already jumped to the front.
She probably wants to drive! But she’s not allowed.

 

But… Can she drive?

 

No! No, she can’t. That’s the problem.

 

I know a cousin, he couldn’t drive, but he went anyway and had an accident.

 

You see? That’s what happens.
You shouldn’t be driving if you haven’t actually learned it.
Or, if you’re a dog…

 

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Your rubbish bin being heavy there?

 

Yes, I must admit, we’re throwing away some pretty bulky stuff. You won’t believe what we’re digging out from our garden. It’s like there’s a whole house buried in our backyard.

 

But of course! For there used to stand The Broken Palace.

 

The what?

 

We used to call it The Broken Palace.

Ha, we used to pass it plenty of times when we were on the run.

That alleyway over there, it was covered with a fishing net. Only we knew how to get through. Very handy when running from the police. Approaching The Broken Palace always meant being safe.

 

Running from the police?

 

Yes yes, fond memories. Good times back then.

 

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I think I’m having a midlife crisis. It’s just dreadful to realise: All the dreams you had… – It’s too late now to make them happen.

 

I don’t know. Like my dream would be to write a book. And there’s still plenty of time for that!

 

What an inspiration! As seen in the news: 93-year-old launches her book

What an inspiration! As seen in the news: 93-year-old launches her book

 

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Remember I told you I saw someone trespassing the other day?

 

Yes.

 

So today I saw him again!

He must’ve climbed over the fence and was about to jump over the wall into the abandoned plot next door.

That’s when I turned around and saw him right in front of my window. I looked him straight in the eyes!

 

And? What happened?

 

He said “Morning” and was on his way over the vibracrete wall.

 

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A creepy crawler: Tick on the wall!

A creepy crawler: Tick on the wall!

 

Help me, they gonna suck me dry!

 

Ah please, don’t worry.

Even though your entire body is covered in ticks so that not even one tiny bit of your flesh is visible, besides your pathetically scared eyes and your weird warped teeth;
all their bodies pumping slowly but steadily, filling like a sea of red balloons, red from your blood, millions of tiny ticks full of your blood…

You’re not gonna die.

 

After all, this is hell, if you could die from this it’d just be some shitty life on planet earth.

No. You’re never gonna get sucked dry. You’re dead already.
Welcome to your eternal nightmare.

 

 

It’s tick season!

Especially if you own dogs, make sure you prevent ticks and know how to safely remove them.

 

 

 

Was wäre ein Beispiel von Luxus für Dich?

 

Frisch gebackenes Brot mit Butter.

 

Aber Du kannst doch Brot mit Butter jeden Tag haben?

 

Ja, aber dann wäre es doch mit mehr Luxus.

 

 

What would be an example of luxury for you?

 

Fresh bread with butter.

 

But can’t you have bread with butter every day?

 

Yes, but then it wouldn’t be luxury.

 

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