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CRAZY LONDON – Die feine englische Art – English politeness

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Die feine englische Art – English politenes 

The English are famous for their politeness and shyness. To me, a rude and straight forward German, it’s quite astounding how patient and reserved the English are.

There’s the queuing. In neat order the English queue for tickets, ice cream, entry and exits, clubs, a table in the restaurant and even busses. It seems as if queuing saves them from having to interact with others, as all you got to do is stand in line and stare at the dandruff of the one in front of you.

There’s the ‘excuse me’ when you actually bumped into them. It actually means ‘fuck off you moron and watch where you’re going’, but with an ‘excuse me’ you get this across in a much more courteous way.

There’s the ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘oh my good, you look gorgeous’, which, if you’re not used to it, you’d put down as completely pretentious and shallow. But hey, if they mean it or not, it’s nice to hear.

There’s the ‘can I buy you a drink’, which in emancipated Germany no guy would offer a girl and no-one would offer to a group as there’s no such thing as binge drinking where it’s guaranteed that everyone will have to buy a round sooner or later.

And that’s where you see the real English nature coming out of the shell: Give them a drink or two and almost immediately forgotten is all the English politeness.

All of the sudden you have people dancing on the table and as if by magic they manage to stay on the table even though they are incredibly drunk and the table is incredibly wonky.

Out of the blue they take their top off, and it’s the girls I’m talking about. It’s not necessarily that they have something nice to look at to offer, but as all shyness is gone, it’s in your face.

You’ll see them sing, dance, laugh, hug, kiss, take the piss, being on the piss and being pissed. And generally it’s hilarious and you’ll have the greatest time of your life.

It’s not like others couldn’t do it. It’s just that after you’ve encountered English politeness, it’s such a revelation to see them going completely bonkers.

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